In a gold medal match, the team that wins the silver medal still feel like losers. Even though they are better than every other team in the competition, they aren’t the best team (at least in that specific tournament). They’re competitors. They didn’t get this far to take second. Their expectations were bigger than that.
So, if you were the coach of this silver medal team, what would your message to them be? Would you be disappointed? Would you question why they even bothered to show up in the first place? Or would you tell them to lift their heads up? To keep working hard and continue to pursue their goal?
Sadly, sometimes we make winners (silver medalists) feel like losers. So much so they start to lose their competitive edge. We do this when we put our family members and friends down instead of lifting them up. We do this when we boss people around at work instead of coaching them.
It’s why good employees leave—not because they lose—but because they feel like they are losing. It’s why we lose friends and our influence on people. It’s why we never feel like we are winning because we are only focusing on the losses.
Tip #1: Accentuate the positive. You’ll realize you’re winning a lot more than you think. Not to mention your day will go better.
Tip #2: Help enough people around you win and you’ll never feel like you are losing again.