When things don't work out

Stop settling. Your dreams of becoming an artist, a writer, an influencer, living where you want and pursuing your passions aren't beyond your reach.

If you keep persisting, pursuing, and working hard at something you don't want, that's called being stubborn. 

The thing is, every job is hard. Writing is hard, customer service is hard—building houses, creating a logo, developing an app, teaching, selling, marketing—they're all hard! Why does it feel easier to do something we don't love than do something we actually feel passionate about? I think the answer has to do with what the world has taught us. Society has drilled into our minds that we must conform. Get a formal education, maintain the status quo, don't make a ruckus. We lose our courage to pursue our dreams when we believe that the only way to make a living is to comply and accept the terms of how the "REAL world" works. 

Sometimes things don't work out. That doesn't mean it's not right for you. It could mean "not yet." It could mean you're not ready. It could mean there's something better for you out there, waiting for you to be bold enough to chase it. 

Babe Ruth once said:

"It's hard to beat the person who never gives up."

Why can't you be that person? Why not now? Have a vision. See clearly in your mind the type of person you want to become and what you want to accomplish. Then be relentless in your resolve to make your vision a reality. 

There is no rulebook. There are people who can teach you. There are things you can experience to help develop your mind and shape your attitude. But there is no ONE process for anything. Making a living doing what you love is a story only you can tell. If this seems too hard to do, remember, hating what you do every day is even harder. 

To quote Debbie Millman:

"The flip-side of settling is infinite resisting. How long should you do something without the success you envision before giving up? When should you throw in the towel? How much rejection is too much? Well, it depends...How much do you want this? If you want it more than anything, keep on trying until you get it. It may require you to alter your approach, refine your ideas, perfect your methodologies, or revise your intent. But if you want it more than anything, you should never give up. But you will also have to manage how you feel about rejection...If you want something badly enough, in the face of rejection you must keep persevering. Many, many, many, many people far greater than you and I have been rejected numerous times. And many of those people have ultimately achieved real greatness in spite of, or even, because of the rejection. So this is the thing: Rejection is never final until you stop trying to succeed. If you think about settling, consider the following questions: 

  • If you're willing to give up on your dream of doing what you love, ask yourself this: Why do you feel that you need to give up?
  • Why do you feel that you should settle for something else?
  • What are you most afraid of? Settling? Or hating what you do? 
  • Is it possible to continue to support yourself in other ways while you experiment with your approach to fulfilling your dreams?
  • If you feel that you are not capable of achieving your dreams, is it because you are really not capable of achieving them? Or is it because you are really afraid to put your whole heart in and try? 
  • What scares you more: Heartbreak? Or rejection? 
  • What scares you more: Resentment? Or rejection? 
  • What scares you more: Regret? Or rejection? 

Here's the thing about resistance. If you're doing what you think you should be doing rather than what you want to do with your whole heart, you are not persisting, you are resisting the truth about who and what you are. If you're doing what it takes to make your heart sing, never, ever give up. Remember, it's not a failure until you accept defeat."