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Because, because, because, because, because

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Give reasons. Explain why. It’s one of the most powerful tools in your repertoire of tactics. 

People don’t like to feel like they are being controlled. They want to be in control. When you just tell someone something without giving a reason, they get defensive. They think you are trying to make them do something they don’t want to. 

So explain ‘why,’ but start with ‘what.’ 

“What are your expectations for…? The reason I ask is because…”

“What can you tell me about…? I ask because…”

It’s a simple shift in language, but an extremely effective one.